This week, things got a little bit awkward with people that
are in my life. Disagreements about gay
rights and marriage equality took place that left both parties possibly
offended. Understanding what they truly
thought about both subjects were truly enlightening. However, after it was all said in done, I
almost wish I never knew their thoughts on the subject at all.
It will definitely put a rift in the relationship we had no matter how
much I wouldn’t want that to happen.
Someone who is all for gay rights surely would think be in favor of marriage
equality I thought. I was wrong. Marriage is a religious institution I was told
and religion doesn’t believe gays should be able to get married. They should have the rights that go along
with marriage but not the word itself.
Ouch. My brain translated
like this.
You are less than. My
God doesn’t believe you are worthy of the word Marriage despite him making you
the way you are.
Unacceptable. But I
conceded. Further discussion was not warranted. No views would be changed and only further awkwardness
would arise.
All I kept thinking in my head is, They don’t get it. And I really don’t think they do. Unless you have lived a life in a gay persons
shoes I wouldn’t expect them to. They dont see the hundreds of organizations out there whose sole purpose it is to make sure gay people dont have the same rights as others. They dont see or know of the hate crimes against gay people every single day. They
cant understand that separate is not equal.
Granting rights without the word is not good enough. It still says I am less than deserving of the
word marriage.
People scream about it being a religious institution and
therefore cannot simply have gays marrying.
Its in the Bible they say!
An abomination.
Me.
An abomination. Brings back memories of being called a filthy
faggot by a man standing on a street corner when I told him I didn’t agree with
his sign saying gays were sinners. Or
when another person called my friends and I “nasty queers” and to “get out of
their neighborhood”. Or when my own
father would call me a gross faggot after every argument growing up. Or when I was told by family members that
God wants me to live a life of solitude by myself and to not act on the
desires which I have. Because the love I
have to share is not worth sharing with another human being and that this was
my cross to carry.
God made me this way so that
I could live a life alone. A lonely abomination.
And all along I just thought I was the funny weird guy. But that is apparently what the Bible says. The book of all books that tell people how to
live their lives and they best way to be good people. I do not bash the people who follow this
book. Nor do I want to. I just try to point out the hypocrisy of
double standards with those who do. I
know plenty of the most amazing Christians that are truly Christ like. Giving, loving, caring, non-judging,
happiness for all, even gay people. I want to fill my
life with these people.
However, this Religious institution I know is all a big
hulabaloo. Sure, most churches within
Christianity are against gay marriage and against gays in general. We are in fact sodomites. But then there are some religions who do in
fact understand that the Bible was written by men thousands of years ago. A time when slavery was acceptable and
marriage meant men being a husband of several wives. But times change. Society changes. And these Christian views should change
too. Some religions have understood that. The Unitarian Church a few blocks from my own house for example believes
that gay couples should be able to marry. Why can’t I get married in that
Church and obtain all the same benefits that heterosexual couples do. Because Religious Freedom is a one way street
sometimes.
Religious Freedom in America is one big hypocrisy. Look at how Muslims are revered in our
country. People won’t even let them
build their places of worship due to fear of Sharia Law spreading like wildfire
through the lands.
Fear.
Isnt that what a lot of this is about. Fear of the things we do not know or
understand.
A new fear of mine is that I am afraid to know what those around
me truly think of me and my “gay situation”.
There are some amazingly great people in my life, but if they tell me I
am not deserving of the exact same rights that they enjoy, Im sorry, but that
changes what I think of you. I refuse to
stand by and further grow a relationship when someone can justify in their head
that because of the way they their creator made me, I am not worthy of
something they are. This is a scary mind
set to be in. I don’t want to lose
anymore friends or family over “my sin” but how can I invite people like that
into my life knowing what I know.
In the end I know I am deserving of love. Not a life of desolation. I know I should not be discriminated against for the way I was born. And I know I shouldn’t invite people into my life that don’t want me to have the same rights that they enjoy. Every single last one. Even if it is just a word.